Jimmy Two-Shoes (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
awesmazings) wrote2014-08-28 05:42 pm
awesmazings) wrote2014-08-28 05:42 pm
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[Anyone who knows Jimmy at all might have noticed that he's been unusually absent from the Network lately. Ignoring new arrivals, and only talking to people sparingly- and it's always, always via text. In fact, Jimmy hasn't made a video post to the Network himself in several months, and it seems like that hasn't changed.
It's jarringly unusual behavior, but the sudden message that pops up on the Network this afternoon might be the most surprising thing of all, even moreso than the radio silence. No attempts at filtering, either.]
What do you think 'Hell' is?
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[Maybe he'd think about moving, if Miseryville didn't constitute the entire planet.]
but...no, thats not it
even if everyone thought my home was the worst place in the world, that wouldnt change how i feel about it
and people can think what they want. i dont care. but i just
ive been worried about...me
not anybody else
like if Miseryville is supposed to be such a bad place, why do I like it so much? why doesn't it bother me? why don't i want to leave?
i mean i have my friends and i wouldnt leave them for anything, but that doesnt really count...
i have friends here in Johto i dont want to leave, but i wanna go back home someday
home to the place full of fire and demons that everyone says is reserved for the most terrible people around
...
so
people like me, then
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Anyway. The mention of demons catches Yusuke's attention right away, but he doesn't comment on it. Instead, he says (or types):]
So... all right. Lemme see if I've got this straight: you're thinking that because people're telling you that Miseryville sounds really similar to a place where bad people get sent, that means you might be a bad person.
Right?
[Just clarifying...]
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pretty much
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Were you born there? In Miseryville, I mean. I'm not saying that has anything to do with whether you're a bad person or not, 'cause I mean, shit, it's not like you can help where you grew up, but...
... the thing about Hell is you kinda have to die to get there. So.
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i dont ever remember being, like
younger than 15 really
ever
its like i just woke up here one day and thats how my life started
if that makes any sense
[...so technically he's an orphan too even though he has a house some....how.....
But now it's sounding a lot like he's....died.]
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Yeah. Yeah, it does. Kind of.
[It's hard for him to imagine not even remembering what his childhood was like, but...
... well, anyway. Yusuke's not exactly what you'd call the most sensitive guy on the planet, but he's got enough experience with death and being dead that he doesn't particularly want to upset a potentially dead person. So he takes a moment or two to mull over his next response, and then eventually texts back:]
Y'know, the whole reason I asked that question was 'cause I was thinking that if you were born there, then it doesn't make sense for you or anybody else to think you might be evil just 'cause you live there. Now that I think about it, though...
I don't think it makes a difference one way or another. I don't know you, but you seem pretty all right to me. Besides, just because you live in a place that sounds bad to everybody else doesn't mean that you or any of the demons or monsters or whatever that live there are bad.
[Except for maybe that Lucy guy. He can go fuck himself, in Yusuke's humble opinion.]
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...thanks. im glad you think so.
maybe we aren't so bad...now
but i just wish i could figure out what i was like before, maybe
if there even was a before
i wouldnt be so worried then if i at least had some sort of idea, you know?
not knowing is just
i dunno its driving me crazy and i havent been able to sleep ive been thinking about it so much
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[...]
Does it really matter what you were like before you ended up in Miseryville, though? I mean, think about it. You're a good person now, right? So why the hell should you let the possibility that you might've been an asshole in the past mess you up? You can't sit around obsessing over shit you've done wrong in the past. Especially when you don't even know if you've done anything wrong in the first place. All you can do is keep moving forward and try to do the right thing in the future.
And as far as why nothing in Miseryville bugs you...
... I dunno. Maybe there isn't anything wrong with you. Maybe you just got balls. It's easy to let a shitty situation get you down. It takes guts to just let it roll over your shoulder and focus on using your strength to help out other people. If you ask me, the fact that you try to make things suck less for people in a place that's supposed to suck more than makes up for any screw-ups you might've made once upon a time.
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so...
me being in Miseryville might be....like
a second chance for me? whether or not i ever really did anything wrong
i like to think im a good person, yeah
i try to do everything i can to do right by people no matter what
and i know i mess stuff up sometimes and im clumsy and im not the smartest guy around
but i dont go around trying to make peoples' lives miserable either
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my names Jimmy by the way
i dumped all that on you and i dont think i even know your name
...thanks for talking to me though
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[You punch those feelings of uncertainty right in the face, Jimmy. RIGHT IN THE FACE.]
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Don't worry Yusuke. i will.