awesmazings | Voicemail

Wow...

...what can you do?

I can find people.

If I think about them I can see them in my head. What they're doing and ... and where they are.

_{[She glances up at him, something a little pained about it.]}

But it doesn't work so I don't know if people are okay.

...so that's what you meant. When you say you can't see Shaun...

[Jimmy's voice quiets a little as he plays with the edge of his jacket.]

_{[Another small nod, shoulders tensing a little.]}

I can't see anyone.

I wish I could see people back home so I know they're safe but I can't see them either.

[The boy falls silent for a moment, watching Molly but not making eye contact, since she's not looking his way.]

Since time doesn't pass while we're here, things won't...get better or worse, for them. I don't know what's happening for you back home, but...that I know is true.

I know it's...gotta be scary, having something like that taken away from you.

Someone told me that. So I know nothing is happening, but ... but I still wish I could see them.

_{[Stroking over Aria's feathers with her fingers, she breathes in slowly and looks up at him again.]}

It's not fair.

I know. I'm sorry, Molly.

[And he really is, too. While he might not fully understand or comprehend what she's going through, he feels sympathy for her all the same. That's just how he is.]

I know you're worried about your friends, and family. About Shaun...and me, like when I fell asleep a couple months ago. But...

[He falters, putting one shoe on top of the other as he tries to think of how to talk to her without saying something wrong that might upset her.]

But...you also gotta trust us. Even if you can't see us all the time or know if we're doing okay...you know that we know what to do if we get into trouble. Here, our Pokemon can protect us.

[Leader nudges his head into Jimmy's hand as he says that, snuffling at his fingers with a low whine.]

And Shaun...he's prolly got a family back home that's watching over him right now, yaknow? Or friends that care a whole lot about him. I'm not saying you shouldn't worry...but I am saying that you should try not to let it be the only thing you think about.

He didn't want to go home.

_{[Aria burrows gently into her fingers and Molly closes her hands over her in a subtle game they've played before. She does feel upset, for all the care Jimmy's putting into his word choices, and her tone is getting strained again for that reason, but it's not the same upset as before. It's not the panicky kind. It's just ... just the normal upset kind.]

[Or okay, that's not entirely true - there's something kind of defensive and stubborn about it too, along with an insistency that maybe shouldn't be there.]}

And there are bad guys here, too. What if something happens?

[Jimmy winces, but he looks away quickly in the hopes that Molly doesn't notice the shift in his expression. He and Shaun didn't talk enough for him to know exactly what his life was like. He responds, slowly.]

...I don't know. I don't think I can answer that.

[If he had been talking to Molly when he first got here, he would have blindly assured her that everything was going to be fine. But he's lived in Johto long enough to know that things happen that you just...can't control. And he doesn't want to give her false hope. He knows she's smarter than that.]

That doesn't mean something bad will happen, though.

_{[And Molly, while she's a remarkably resilient little kid, has kind of come to expect the worst. She knows the good guys usually win. Sometimes. But she knows things are hard, and that there are risks, and that things are dangerous, and she's seen too many bad things to not ... well, it's not like she always expects them, she doesn't actively fear them.]

[But she's so, so aware of the possibility tha they might. That they can.]

[And that's why she's so worried that if she can't see people, she just won't know. And not be able to help. Maybe if she'd known before ...]}

But it can. And if it does and nobody knows what's happening then maybe it's too late.

...It can. But...

[...]

...let's say you did have your power here. Where we are is...pretty far away from all of our homes. If something did happen, and you saw it, you wouldn't be able to do anything about it even if you wanted to. You couldn't tell anyone to make it stop, or stop it yourself...

That's not something I'd ever wish on you, Molly.

_{[... the tears are back.]

[Not many - not that she bursts into them or anything, but they're definitely rising in her eyes as she listens to what he's saying, and she thinks about ... thinks about how there are things she couldn't stop anyway ...]

[About how her power isn't that amazing, because all she can do is see, can see people die and see people that scare her so badly she can't sleep ...]}

I mean ... I meant ... I meant for here.

_{[Aria protests beneath her hands and Molly lets her out with a sniffle.]}

[He's paying Molly close enough attention now that he can't not notice that something he said there upset her, and it causes his stomach to drop. His hands are back to nervously pulling and messing with the edge of his jacket as his gaze darts a little, trying to think of something quick...but nothing's coming anymore.]

Oh...no....n-no I...I'm sorry, I didn't mean...

[Then Jimmy falls silent, long enough to recollect himself before he says something else he doesn't quite mean. He doesn't move when Leader jumps up onto the cot and stretches around his trainer, resting his head near his knee.]

You...you're a good person. You care so much about everyone, and you...you just want to make sure people are safe. I-I know how that feels, I really do...but you're right. Sometimes you just...can't.

[He stops there, thinking.]

Back home, I...I try to make sure that everyone living there is as happy every day as they possibly can be. That doesn't always mean it works, or that they even want it...but the fact that I'm trying at all does something, right? And I think the fact that you care so much means that that's all you want to do, too. Even if you can't see, here-

[Jimmy taps the side of his head with a finger.]

You can see a lot more here- [And then he moves his hand down to his heart.] -than you might think you can.

_{[There's a lot going on for her right now and what he's trying to say to her gets a little lost through the haze of her own thoughts. It's obvious that he really wants to help, though, but he can't, not really, because the worst has already happened to her, so she just looks at him like that proverbial deer in the headlights while she tries to understand him. Really understand him. Not just hear him.]

[She never had any doubts that she was a good person. Never needed that reassurance. But that only means that he's seeing something in her right now or thinking about something that she's not feeling, but he's not entirely wrong in what he's reflecting on either, because she still wants to cry and she's so grateful to know him and he's trying so hard for her that she is crying.]

[Pushing her backpack aside in a rather sudden motion, she slips down to the floor and moves to hug him again, just hides her face in his chest and hugs him close even as she has to lean forwards a little awkwardly to do that because of the edge of the cot.]

[And she's crying.]}

I don't want people to get h-hurt.

I-I know they can't die here but they can still be hurt.

[Honestly, Jimmy is a little thankful for that. It gives him something else to focus on other than grabbing for words he really can't reach. He knows he's not helping- at least in what he's saying at the moment- but if being there is the only thing he can do that's going to help, then he'll do it. And he won't argue as he just holds her tightly against him, starting to feel his eyes burn a little in light of her own sadness.]

I know...

[He puts a hand to the back of her head, closing his eyes tightly.]

I wish things didn't have to be that way.

_{[Within a few seconds of him saying that she climbs up to sit next to him and lean into him again, like she did not that much earlier, still hugging him tightly and staying close. As close as she can, really, while she tries to work through what's happening.]

[Because it still is a lot. It is. It's more than she wanted. And she'll bounce back soon, she always does, but that doesn't make any of this less hard, all the loss and all the fear less scary.]

[She feels very strongly that she doesn't want to tell him what she's so scared of. It's not entirely conscious to her anyway, because she's still just a kid. Bright, curious. But a kid. And right now, just a kid seeking solace where she can find it.]

[Not knowing what else to say, she just allows herself to cry and cling to him for the next few moments, until the tears stop.]}

[He just holds her there like that, fine with staying that way for as long as he needs to. He doesn't care at this point, and he's pretty sure that there isn't anything else he really can say. Leader is there, too, resting his head near both of them and just serving as another presence in the room in the event that he's needed.

Even when she stops crying he still holds her, letting his body rock back and forth just slightly as he pets her hair again. He holds her and holds her and eventually brings one leg up to rest on the cot when it starts to fall asleep, but even then he doesn't move farther than that.]

_{[And when she's cried out - she's really cried out, she's just tired and her head hurts and she wants to go to sleep (and she wants her parents, honestly) - she appreciates his presence despite or maybe because of the silence. It lets her take a moment to try to center herself.]

[Aria climbed into the crook of her arm at some point during all that, and when she eventually does lean away from Jimmy, but only so much, makes sure she's still touching him somehow, she picks up the bird into her hands again and strokes her feathers gently.]

[Like anyone else after a big cry like that she feels kind of self conscious and a little embarrassed, but that's not the main reason her voice is a little quiet when she speaks up again. It's pretty simple, what she goes for, but she shoots him a look as she does.]}

Thanks. Sorry. I didn't mean to ...

[Jimmy almost cuts her off a little in his haste to respond, but his voice is still soft and gentle when he does.]

It's okay, Molly.

[He sits up a little straighter, shifting so he can put his hand on Leader's head. He's been lying on the cot the whole time with his eyes closed, but now one of them is open as he watches the pair to see how they're both fairing, but Molly in particular.

Jimmy tilts his head to the side a bit, offering her a small smile.]

Listen...I don't want you to ever feel like you're bothering me for anything, okay?

No matter what happens, I'm here for you.

_{[He really does make her feel okay. And safe. So she smiles back, and even though it's kinda pale and not-quite-there, she does look more ready to take on the world now. The panic is definitely gone for the moment even if the fear might linger, but on the whole, she does feel okay. Just so tired. And kind of homesick - homesick to before - but she can't help that, and neither can anyone else.]}

Okay. I'm really happy you're here.

_{[Which is a simpler way of putting a few things, but it's extremely sincere just from the way she's saying it.]}

[He nods, pulling her a bit closer with the one arm he still has loosely wrapped around her shoulders.]

Me too. Try and see if you can get some rest now, okay? I promise I won't go anywhere. I'll be right here.

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