awesmazings | 016

[After traveling for several days to get to Vermillion City, Jimmy hasn't really had a chance to check the Network or his PC much. But upon arriving to town early in the morning, the first thing he'd gone to do was check his PC to switch out some of his team and...

Well. There's only one reason you find a friend's Pokemon in your possession, isn't there? A quick attempt at a call confirms his worst fears. He left to go on a trip, promising he'd be back soon. He didn't even get to say goodbye.

It takes him a little while, but he eventually makes a video from a seat on the couch inside the Pokemon Center (since he hasn't actually left yet). There's a pokeball in his hands, but he hasn't had the heart to release what's inside yet.

For the first time in a long time, Jimmy Two-Shoes looks...genuinely upset.]

Molly's gone home.

[His grip on the ball shifts a little. When he looks back up he forces a smile, strained and maybe a little too wide.]

If you got any of her Pokemon, lemme know, okay? I'm not gonna take 'em, I just...wanna make sure they're alright.

Thanks.

[And that's it.]

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I'm okay.

[He's not, not really, but when is he ever not okay? This is as uncomfortable for him as it probably is for everyone else, and he probably wouldn't have broadcasted it if he didn't feel like he owed that much to her, at least.]

I dunno what to say...It won't bring her back, or nothin'.

[And it feels selfish wishing it would, even though he knows everyone who has gone through this before has felt that way.]

Yeah, I know.

[Naki brings his knees up to his chest and rests his chin on them, glancing off to the side as he speaks.]

It really fucking sucks to lose someone that you care about, though. It's okay if you wanna be fucked up by it for awhile, Jimmy. You don't have to lie. I mean, if you don't wanna be fucked up in front of people, that's okay too. But she was your friend and now she's gone home, and no matter what, that's gonna mess you up in some way.

[One of his good friends had returned home and he'd been a fucking mess for weeks. He gets it.]

I mean, the good thing is she's alright, right? She might come back someday.

[...whether Naki immediately realizes it or not, that's something Jimmy actually needed to hear. That it's okay for him to be upset. He doesn't have to be happy or upbeat and pretend when he's clearly not. He runs his thumb over the catch of the pokeball in his hands, but he doesn't move to release what's inside yet.]

Yeah. Yeah, she...she might come back.

[And so might John. And Rose. Or Beezy or Heloise...but that's just a maybe.]

...I left on a trip last month. She was by herself for a whole month. I'd been traveling with her, and I told her I'd be back soon...I was gonna come visit for Christmas and everything if I could.

I feel really bad about it, Naki.

[He listens to that quietly. He understands, though he's never been in the exact same position. Naki leans forward toward the camera though.]

I know. I went through something kinda like that back home.

[Except Yamori died and there isn't any way to bring the dead back to life.]

But listen to me, it's not your fault. You had no way of knowing this was gonna happen. If you had, you wouldn't have left, right? So don't go beating yourself up over something like this, 'cause there was no way of predicting it.

It really is okay to be fucked up for awhile. You can be sad and you can handle it however you want. That's okay. Your friend went home and you didn't get to say goodbye. It's totally normal to be fucked up by that.

But you shouldn't blame yourself. We don't get any say in who stays and who goes here. If we did, I know a lot of us wouldn't leave. At least, not for a while. So... So it's okay to feel bad about what happened, but you've gotta pick yourself up eventually. And blaming yourself isn't gonna help with that shit at all.

[He's not sure he's doing a good job of explaining himself, but it's something he's finally learned here.]

[Jimmy listens as well, though eventually during all of that he does look back up at Naki. He's been through this before with other people he cared about a lot. John, Rose, Jack...but Molly he'd been really close to. He got closer to her than he thought he would, but he doesn't regret any minute of it. She needed someone to be there for her, and he was more than happy to be that person. And he'll continue to be that person for as long as he can...

He takes a deep breath to steady himself, lifting a hand to run it through his hair.]

I guess it's just hard not to think that way, yaknow? Like...maybe things woulda' been different if I'd been there. ...but you're right. It's not doing me any good to blame myself. Molly wouldn't want that.

[Jimmy leans back a little on the couch, lowering his hand to grip his Gear more properly, angling it so it isn't quite at such a strange angle in his lap.]

...what would you do to help you feel better?

Oh, you probably don't wanna do what I do. I usually just cry for awhile until I feel better. And then I eat a lot of cake.

[THANKS NAKI]

I talk to the squids a lot too. They're really good about that, they're like... really hopeful, I guess? They always find a way to cheer me up.

I'm not really good at this shit, but I'll always be here to talk, if you want.

[That kindof sounds like a great idea right now, though...]

Thanks. Just talking like this...it does help. A little.

[It really just happened at a bad time, all things considered. Both while Jimmy was gone and weeks before Christmas...just a perfect storm to put Jimmy in terrible spirits.]

Maybe I should just go find something to do...get my mind off of it, hopefully.

Where are you now? If you're in Goldenrod we could hang out for awhile, but if not I'm sure you can find something to do to distract yourself from it.

...I mean, I usually don't fucking bother, but I feel better after I've cried for like, a fucking year. So.

[Thanks, Naki. You're so helpful.]

I kindof wish I was...I'm in Kanto right now, just got to Vermillion City. I don't think I'll be back in Johto for a while yet, but thank you for offering anyways.

[Hey man, if you don't think he's going to probably go back to his hotel room and cry after all of this is over, then he's got a thing to tell you.]

Maybe I'll go train for a while, or somethin'. That's something to do, anyway.

[Naki thinks for a moment (it looks like it might hurt) before finally snapping his fingers.]

Okay, Jimmy, I've got a job for you! I want you to find the best-looking restaurant in town! Not like, fanciest or whatever, just someplace that looks like it has good food.

Go in there, order the tastiest-sounding desert, and send me a picture of it, okay? I've got a fuckton of pictures of these things, but I don't have any from Kanto! I'll send you one back - whatever I think would be more delicious than what you've found!

We can keep doing that shit every day, if you'd like. It's not much, but it might help you take your mind off of stuff for awhile.

[Jimmy listens to Naki's proposal, and he's actually grinning before he's even finished talking. It's not with his usual exuberance, obviously, but it's more than he was doing earlier.]

That sounds like a really cool idea, actually. But you're gonna have to work pretty hard to find something tastier looking than whatever I find!

It's fucking on, then! I'll prove the cakes in Goldenrod are the fucking best dessert!

[He's super pumped about this, but it's mostly because Jimmy's feeling better, okay. Not that he'd admit that.

...He's really bad at cheering people up, okay.]

[YOU TRIED AND YOU...ACTUALLY SUCCEEDED? That's better than nothing!]

Haha, okay! If Vermillion doesn't give you a run for your money, I bet Celadon will!

[Celadon was the big city in Kanto with its own department store and everything, right? It had to have some places as nice as, if not nicer than, Goldenrod.]

It's fucking on, then! I won't lose!

[He laughs though, so at least it isn't really all that serious of a competition or anything.]

...And if you wanna talk about more serious shit, I'm always here, alright?

Right. Thanks, Naki. You're a real good friend.

[And he really means that, even though he's friends with a lot of people.]

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